Man oh, man. I can’t even express all the emotions that consumed me when it hit that this is the year I would have to enroll my baby girl into K4 and 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 enrollment began, aye yai yai, I was everywhere.
And to think the thought of ever putting my girls in daycare was scary. Knowing that they, well at least Zoe right now, will be going to school definitely tops that. Then all that comes with researching and decision making on which school…The stress and fear I felt!
All the thoughts about the teachers and kids she will be surrounded by or will she even be in school or virtual? I literally had to pause, pray, and ask God to calm my soul. I know it’ll get better. Maybe 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 the first day of school or maybe never. Lol. I’ve been told one too many times I’ll be crying like a baby. Trust me, I already know and I am 𝗡𝗢𝗧 ready!
I can say though, I felt some peace and excitement when I got the email Zoe was eligible for an Art School I applied for. Which would be 𝗔𝗠𝗔𝗭𝗜𝗡𝗚! But Parents of school kids, I need to know I’m not alone. How did you feel about your first school enrollment? What were some thoughts/emotions you felt? How did you cope?
It’s officially “Love” month and we are kicking our first Mom Monday back with The Five Love Languages. I’m sure you heard of them, right? Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving, and Acts of Services.
Well for those who know. If I were to ask you what is your love language? You might just have an idea of what it may be, but what if I asked you what is your child’s love language? Just like adults, every child has a primary love language, but how do you incorporate the 5 love languages in a way your child understands?
I’ve learned after closely watching my girls that my three-year old’s love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. For my one year old, currently, it’s Physical Touch and that could be because of her colicky stages as a baby, but she loves to give hugs, be held and snuggled. And not in that I’m spoiled kind of way, because as much as she is so independent. There is just this safety and comfort you can tell she feels when she is in Mommy’s arms.
As for Zoe, my three-year-old. She breathes on speaking life into herself and others. Many know I am big on affirmations and I know that plays big into that love language. So I make sure she gets all the good jobs, I love yous, you’re so silly, and you’re beautiful remarks, etc. when it’s needed. As for quality time. Sometimes it can get hard because I of course can’t spend every minute with her, but I’ve started to notice the specific signs of when she asks for “Mommy Snuggles” or “Play Time.” There is this tone of “Mommy I need you right now” and so I’ve learned that in those moments is when all the household chores can wait and my undivided attention is needed. ♥️
To the mom who hurt me more times than I can count. The mom who left me bruises I had to try and cover up. To the mom who abandoned me time after time. I’m here to tell you.
I forgive you.
To the mom who always left me to take care of my two younger siblings. To cook, to clean, get them ready for school, and help with homework.
Who also left me to take care of your mom, my 82 year old grandma. Whose diaper I changed and body I fed through a feeding tube, because five strokes left her disabled from head to toe.
I was only 14 years old. I was just a child myself, who was taken out of school and had to grow up faster than most. Your boyfriend at the time was more important than your kids. It was a lot to take in and deal with, but I forgive you.
Abuelita passed away. We lost our apartment. We had no money. We stayed with friends after friends to finally your boyfriends. Where one day you allowed him to throw me to the floor and put his hands on me.
He eventually kicked us out. We had no where to go. So then the journey into the unknown happened. You dragged my siblings and I around for a year and a half with no school or a place to call our own. We constantly slept in strangers houses or in our van bouncing around from Wisconsin to Florida to Pennsylvania to New York and then back to Wisconsin. Even family tried to help, but you wouldn’t accept it. It was all about you and what you wanted. Sadly, your kids were only a pawn in whatever card you played, but again, don’t worry.
I forgive you.
Fast forward x32. I’m five months pregnant! You’re a grandma! I know you heard the news, because you showed up unexpected. Yet your intentions on showing face was unclear. Not once did you ask how the baby or I was doing. Instead, you talked me down and tried to tell my fiancé that I’m delusional and a fraud. It was mind baffling and embarrassing.
Yet, I forgive you.
Hey mom, I got married! I’m now a mom of two! Your first grandchildren! They’re beautiful! Who knows if you’ll ever get to meet them. You’ve already missed out on so much! Did you know it’s actually been 13 years? Do I even call you mom? At this point I don’t know anything about you anymore. You’re practically a stranger. It’s heart breaking.
I know I will never get answers. For years I constantly asked myself, “why?” or “how can someone who calls themselves “mom” do such things. Don’t you love me?” I’ll never know. Maybe you went through a life of postpartum and the world was heavy on your shoulders. Maybe there was more to you and dad, a drug addict back then, that you just couldn’t take it anymore. So I became your punching bag.
I’ll never know where it all went wrong. As I look back at baby photos there seems to be this…love. I don’t know, but one thing I know is that five months ago, I was at my darkest moment within postpartum and I battled the fear of becoming You. There was an anger I felt that wanted to unleash. I had to continuously fight this mirror that kept reflecting YOU. It was a long and exhausting battle. I almost gave up. I almost let the darkness swallow me whole, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. It wasn’t my time.
So I sit here today writing this letter to you. That if there is anything that I could actually thank you for, it’s showing me what a mother SHOULD truly be. The mother my girls NEED me to be. The mother you WEREN’T to me. I’ve seen all the don’ts. I’ve seen all the failures and even though at times I may fail with my own. I know that I’ll be okay, because I remember, I’m not you. I am not my mother and because I now know who I finally am as Mom. I know I’ll do better.
I’m sure many of you have been counting the days until 2021 and now that December is finally here. We are that much closer to putting the year 2020 behind us. This has definitely been one crazy year to say the least, a pandemic to forever remember that had affected so many of us in different ways. So today I wanted to talk about how did Covid affect your little ones?
Although my girls are three and one and I have had the blessing to say I didn’t have to worry about schools shutting down and virtual classes. Covid still took a big impact on my three year old. The isolation and distance that took place in not seeing her favorite loved ones and friends, took an emotional toll on her and it was hard.
She was used to having play dates and seeing family throughout the week/weekends. That she eventually caught on to the unusual routine. Yes we had FaceTime, but that wasn’t enough. Zoe needed that physical quality time. To hug, play with, and talk to. So hearing her ask her grandpa (Belo), grandma (Bela), and Aunt (Titi Maria) every time over the phone, “Are you going to come with me Zoe?” and seeing her sad little face, because she couldn’t. SUCKED!
Fast forward a few months in. The joy and sparkle in her eyes when she could finally see her Belo, Bela, and Titi. She was ecstatic! BIG hugs. Check. Play time. Check. Overall quality time was great and fun as always…until it was time to say goodbye. The meltdown this girl had was none that I have ever seen. Her cries were as if someone was literally ripping her away from the ones she loved and was never going to see them again. At first I got upset. I didn’t get it. She never acted that way before. This was something new and I felt confused and frustrated trying to calm her down.
Then it happened again. Then again. Then on her birthday she had two friends come over at separate times and at each goodbye she freaked out. At this point I was like okay she never gets like this with her friends and that’s when it clicked. Separation Anxiety and at this point the goodbye cries turned into hyperventilation where throwing up followed. It literally killed me inside to see her that way. To know that she really thought and felt like she will never see them again and her telling ‘so&so’ don’t leave me! Yelling “NOOOO!” as she watches from the window. It was Pure Heartbreak!
Things have finally calmed as we are now months into this pandemic and overtime with breathing technics, allowing her to voice her feelings, and using calm words to comfort her has really helped her a lot. I continuously pray that her soul remains calm and she remains strong, because even though things have gotten back to some form of normalcy in our home and family routines. The future is still unknown, but one thing I know if the world were to shut down again. We’ll be more mentally and emotionally prepared.
Happy Mom M♡nday! This week is giveaway week, so we are taking it back to our very first Mom Monday post! What is ‘Mom Life’ like when you don’t have the kids?
I was asked this question four months ago and it hit me hard that I didn’t have an answer, because truthfully in 3 years of being Mom, I didn’t know. And I don’t mean the “kid-less” days where you go run the bazillion errands you need to do. What does a day for YOU look like to do the things that you want or love to do? Do you take that MomMe time needed for yourself? Do you still maintain passions you had before becoming a mom? Or do you feel like you’ve completely lost yourself in motherhood?
We as Moms get so consumed with our daily routine of making sure our kid(s) are so well taken care of, we do the things they always want to do, making sure we are nurturing their little beings, but what about nurturing ourselves?
Well, since I’ve started Mom Mondays. I have dedicated EVERY Monday specifically for MomMe time to invest in myself mentally and physically. As well as connecting with other moms and in doing so, I have found such a new peace and purpose within myself that is so renewing, refreshing, and exciting! More on that soon. I just want to hear from all of you again!
What are some things you like to do on MomMe Time? Or what are some goals you’re working towards on making time for YOU?
We made it! 16 hours complete and exhausted is an overstatement!! Now I know some of you are probably thinking you drove 16hrs with two kids? You’re crazy! 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟…yes and yes! Lol I actually prefer road tripping over flying unless it’s necessary to do so.
So the real question is, “how do you keep two little ones content and entertained during the drive?” Well to sum it up. Snacks. Snacks. 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 snacks and all the entertainment to keep them occupied!
So let’s first talk entertainment.
Well for starters, if you don’t have TVs in your vehicle. I definitely recommend getting an Amazon kids tablet! We had got Zoe one two years ago for our trip to Puerto Rico and it was such a 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥! You can install all your favorite streaming apps and download the kids favorite movies. That way they will have access to watch stuff on offline mode! We used Disney Plus and downloaded 12 different movies for the girls to choose from. Added bonus the tablet also has a few offline games to play too! For other entertainment goodies; We had coloring pads, crayons, stickers, books, a few favorite toys, and of course Disney Pandora to jam out too!
Next on the list for road trip survival. All the Snacks and Dranks! It’s a 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗧 to make sure our littles stay well nurtured during the drive, because trust me. You don’t want hungry crabby babies sitting behind you feeling, as they say… 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗥𝗬! So load up on all their favorite treats and don’t hold back! It’s better to be safe than sorry! Plus it’ll save money not having to buy happy meals and overpriced gas station food!
Lastly, make sure your littles are dressed comfy as possible! Its already restricting enough having to sit in a car seat for so long! So the less clothes…the less fussy. So take that coat or jacket off, kick off the shoes, and give the breathing room they need to stay sane and comfortable. Happy Babies = Happy Mommy! ♡︎
Happy Mom Monday! Let’s talk about this little babe right here. She’s adorable right? As are all of our littles UNTIL they start teething! So don’t let this little cute face fool you, because this past week she has been the crankiest little beaver ever!
If you don’t know, the teething stage of a child is not always the most lovable moment in motherhood. Especially when there are multiple teeth coming in at once. Which currently, Ms. Sofia has not just one or two, but all FOUR molars coming in! All at the same dang time. Sounds like a a sweet celebration right? For…no one. Lol
Its funny how motherhood works though. We adore all the milestones and little changes, like teeth coming in. We get so caught up in the ‘AWE’ moment, that we forget the consequences Mommy will have to pay for all that cuteness. Here’s just some of the fun things Mom has to deal with; Biting, Crankiness, Stage 4 Clinger, Sleepless Nights, and don’t forget those Sloppy Joe’s of a diaper! Yep! 💩
So between the irritable gnawing child and the zombie of a mother, sounds pretty fun right?! Haha All in all that’s just one of many stepping stones in motherhood and despite how exhausted mommy may be. She will always go above and beyond to make sure her little babe feels as comfortable as possible, because can you imagine the pain she’s in?!
So a few things that has helped; Young Living Oils, Lavender and Gentle Baby, frozen teethers, even her pacifiers, frozen yogurt, and her favorite baby flick, Cocomelon. Seriously that show is a LIFESAVER! 😆
So any other Mamas have fun teething stories to share?! I definitely would love to hear!
Can we talk about how much I love being a Girl Mom! From their fashionable clothing to their sassy personalities and everything in between.
Being a girl mom of two is everything to me!
I just love shopping for them! Babygirl/Toddler clothing is just the cutest and I swear their wardrobe is bigger than mine. Every time I go to the store, I can’t help to see what’s new in the girls clothing depo. &&&& CACHING. It never fails. Sorry babe. Lol
Oh and the BOWS! As if this picture doesn’t give that away. Haha I can definitely tell you the bow collection has grown tremendously since Zoe was first born. Literally bows for days!
Their sassy and feisty attitudes are also among the cutest and funniest characteristics I love about them. The amount of different looks they give are hilarious, but I swear they’re the most lovable little beings that can instantly melt your heart. I live for their kisses and snuggle bonds with mommy and daddy.
But how completely opposite they are though from each other is what gets me. It’s so amazing to see how different the two are. At how such a young age they have already developed such a uniqueness of who they are individually.
Zoe is the award winning actress of the family (ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ. ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ) who is always dancing, singing, and yelling loudly in the house. Sofia, for how colicky she was as a baby. She is the most chill little one year old ever. She can be so unbothered at life and will give you the stank eye all day long. It’s great. Lol
Together though they are unstoppable. I love watching their bond and love for each other grow. The way they interact with each other and how much Sofia looks up to her big sister. I cannot wait to see the amazing women they will grow into. (ᴡʜᴏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ? ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴇꜰɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴡᴀɪᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ. 😭) but seriously being a girl mom is great and so much fun. For daddy on the other hand. Let’s be realistic. Being a girl dad terrifies him. lol
So what are you’re favorite things about being a #girlmom or #girldad? 💗
And for all my boy mom and dads. I’d love to hear your favorite things about having a boy too! 💙
But now here are six simple self-care tips that a stay at home or even working mom can do for themselves.
ⅰ. Take a shower at night. Mom life starts as soon as the kids are up at 7am or earlier and nonstop until bedtime. So make sure to take that time at night to take a nice hot bath or shower, breathe, and enjoy some quiet time!
ⅱ. Feed your body nutritious foods. We are always making sure the kids are eating, but what about you? And no, snacking on your kids left overs doesn’t count. And drink water!
ⅲ. Get some fresh air. Mom life is a constant go go go that sometimes we forget to breathe. So try and take 10 minutes of your day and sit outside or go for a walk. Fresh air really does a body good.
ⅳ. Get sleep when you can. I know this is a tough one, but if you get to that point of exhaustion where you feel like you can’t function. Forget about all the chores that needs to be done. A well rested body does a person better good than an bone-weary one.
ⅴ. Take that needed MomMe time. Self care is the practice of taking action to improve one’s own health. Which about sums up the first four things I just mentioned. And there is also things like reading a book, doing a 15minute workout, pampering yourself, or simply sitting in your car drinking Starbucks. Anything that allows you to feel like yourself, is a form of Self-Care.
ⅵ. And lastly. Be gentle to yourself. Mom life is overwhelming and exhausting, but always remember YOU got this! Start making your affirmations list and repeat them daily!
I am a big believer of this and not only for myself, but for my family. My three year old even recites her own set of affirmations.
But as moms, we tend to beat ourselves up a lot! Especially in those overwhelming #momlife moments where you may feel so hopeless. And for moms who have or are battling PPD/A I know those consuming thoughts and feelings can take you to a very dark place.
Which it’s why I stress for us Mamas to understand the importance of speaking life into ourselves, because our mind is a powerful tool. Affirmations truly give you the courage to believe in yourself, improve your overall well-being, and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love. So allowing yourself to speak life into YOU, is a step in the right direction of mental breakthrough.
Here are a few of my favorites.
• I am Worthy.
• I am Amazing.
• I am Capable.
• My Body is Healthy
• My Mind is Focused.
• My Soul is Calm.
• & I am a Great Mom!
Do you guys have any affirmations you tell yourself on the daily?
09.14.20
Gabrielle.
We have our 3rd MomMe Date down for the books!
Today I got to spend time with this beautiful soul. We got Sushi at Jin’s Sushi Seafood & Bar and did some ‘unnecessary’ shopping at T.J.Maxx. Lol
We had a great night of laughs and talks about our crazy pregnancy & labor stories. It was definitely a great time of mom-friendship bonding!
As I wake up this morning, I can’t help to just feel so overjoyed and grateful! When I started Mom Mondays: Reclaiming Your Identity. My soul purpose behind it was to push Moms to set aside time for themselves, because we as Moms can get so consumed in Motherhood that we forget how important it is to take care of ourselves. So when I created my first Mom Monday post about ‘MomIdentityTheft’, I honestly was taken back at the amount of feedback and support I got. Being able to see for yourself and have that reminder that you are not alone in this everyday #MomLife. It was heartwarming.
So yesterday being able to have my first Mom Monday Mama date out. My heart was so overjoyed! It was definitely a great way to close out the month of August! And I hope to continue to have more Mama dates with all the amazing Moms that I know out here within the Milwaukee Area. I don’t want to just sit behind a screen blogging away, because I want to have a more physical connection, because that is JUST AS if not MORE important than connecting with individuals online. So I am just beyond grateful with the amount of support I have received since Mom Monday started.
The dark hole I was in just two months ago telling my husband how “2020 has taken so many people I know. When is it my turn?!” The complete and utter exhaustion I felt. Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. I completely lost all sense of who I was. That it took one question from someone in a conversation to be my Saving Grace. And it was “Tell me. What is Mom Life like without the kids?” It was the most simplest question, but it hit so deep and hard inside, because I had no answer! I truly did not know how to answer that, because I didn’t know what that was really like.
The next day, after Listening to a Joel Osteen message on a Sunday Morning. It was like that sermon was meant for me in so many ways. After listening to Him, I went to jump in the shower and my mind was just in knots. Then that question my friend asked popped in my head and it was at that moment a fire lit under me. Talking to myself in the shower, “Like who the hell is Krystle?!” Tears rolling down my face, feeling so empty, but in the same moment my mind was as clear as day and Mom Mondays: Reclaiming Your Identity came about.
I had finally found my purpose. I had never felt so alive. This was my way in to help others, something I have always done, because that’s the person I have always been. A helper and a giver. So I can’t even explain how excited I am. How at peace I’ve been, but I’m so excited to continue this journey! I am truly grateful!
Yesterday morning I took the time to just admire my girls. I sat back just embracing the little individuals they’ve become, the personalities they’ve developed, and how smart they just are.
It was such a bittersweet moment, because you come to a realization while watching them, that they’re not babies anymore. They’re not the fresh brand new baby you just brought home from the hospital. They no longer coo and caa or struggle to hold they’re tiny head up.
They’re now little grown toddlers, who run around the house dancing and singing. Crying and Screaming. Laughing and trying to hold conversation. In a blink of an eye, they’ve brought so much life and entertainment into our home. You seriously sit there like how did this happen?! Someone please stop the clock! It’s honestly beyond me how fast time flies.
So with that said. One thing I can’t stress enough is to always make time for your babies. Allow yourself to soak up your Mommy and Daddy sponge and treasure those milestones. We can get so caught up with our busy work life, and even as a stay at home mom, you get so caught up in the daily chores and routines. That sometimes we forget the importance of making time for our children. And 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧. In today’s world we get so caught up with wanting to capture everything through pictures and video to post quickly to Social Media. That we forget the beauty of just being fully present.
For all my mamas out there, What is mom life like when you don’t have the kids?
I was asked this a couple days ago and it sunk in so hard that I didn’t have an answer, because truthfully I don’t know.
& I don’t mean a day where you don’t have the kids and then you go run the bazillion errands you need to do. What is a day like for you to do things that YOU want or love to do?
Or maybe you don’t have that day? Or maybe you never even thought about it. We as Moms get so consumed with our daily routine of making sure our kid(s) are so well taken care of. To do the things that they always want to do. Making sure we are nurturing their little beings, but what about nurturing ourselves?
I remember making a post back in December, (on IG) about how much your kids become your identity when you’re a mom. Yesterday I pondered so hard on that, that it slapped me in the face like okay. I know my identity as a mom, but what about my personal Identity. Who is Krystle?
I’ll definitely get back to you on that one, but I would really love some feedback from other Mamas.
Do you take that time needed for yourself? Do you still maintain passions you had before becoming a mom? What are some things you like to do on MomMe Time? Or do you feel like you’ve completely lost yourself in Mommyhood?
Blissful Burgos 