Hi loves! I am a Mama of two little beauties. I am a lover of all things fashion, traveling, baking, and photography. I am married to my Soulmate and a fur mama to my Pom Pom Chanel. I am faith based and love inspiring and spreading positivity 🤍
As a Mama of a child with SPD, whose biggest challenge is Oral Sensory. I definitely struggle with what kind of toys and activities I can provide for my youngest to play with, without the worry of her chewing and/or putting things in her mouth.
So today I decided to put a Pinterest inspired project together for my girls and create ‘Edible Sand.’
Things you will need:
• Froot Loops
• Blender
• Sensory Bins
SO. There are two ways you could go about making your ‘Edible Sand’. Just throw it all in the blender to create that sand visual effect and simply call it a day.
BAM. DONE!
– OR –
You can blend all the colors separately to create a fun rainbow visual! Which to be honest is much more tedious, but of course the cooler and prettier things require more effort. Lol Then throw a few fun accessories in your child’s bin to play with their “sand” and wallah!
But however you choose to make your ‘Edible Sand’ the kid/kiddos will have fun playing with it and the biggest PLUS of all. Your worry of something being consumed that shouldn’t is now out the window and you can rest assured that if you catch them munching on their “sand” they’re very much enjoying blended-up Froot Loops!
I recently gave myself a project to do, because I have been trying to push/motivate myself for awhile now to get back into my artsy creative side. It’s been a mental battle of mine and I finally took initiative!
I had contemplated for months wanting to get my girls an outdoor playhouse, but I didn’t just want any typical “basic” one. Call me boujie, but I just wanted something different. Lol
So after months of looking up different ideas. Going through Pinterest and seeing all these cute “Modern Chic” playhouses. A lot mainly built from scratch. I finally came across an idea that I was like I can totally do that! So I teamed up with my husband and I am so pleased with the outcome!
Before Process:
We bought the Pink + Purple Little Tikes Cottage off Amazon. Before purchasing though, I did look for a few weeks on Facebook Market trying to score a more cost effective and worn down playhouse to redo, but I didn’t get as lucky. So I definitely suggest looking into that before purchasing a new one. (I’m all about saving money if I can!)
It did work out though, because it was easier to just having pre disassembled pieces ready to spray paint. The only thing we really needed to tape off was the mailbox. So we painted that first and once dried. We covered and taped it off to proceed with the white.
The types of paint we used was 2x Rust-Oleum Paint + Primer and Rust-Oleum Metallic Paint + Primer. Do make sure the paint is compatible with plastic though! We used the colors: Dark Walnut for the Roof, Blossom White for the Walls, Sweet Pea for the Doors, and Metallic Pure Gold for the Mailbox. (Disclaimer: You will need a few cans of your most wanted primary house colors)
& after getting a few Homey decor pieces from Target + Home Goods, faux grass and pretty flowers from Home Depot…
We have a beautifully redone Little Tikes Cottage Makeover! ☺️
– You’re tired – Baby wakes up every couple hours, needs to be fed and changed. They might sleep during the day more than night, which switches your schedule around. They might cry for hours and you don’t know what to do to help them. Every baby is different which brings different challenges to each situation. It’s tiring.
– You’re emotional – You cry at everything and anything. Happy tears, sad tears, “I don’t know why the f*** I’m crying” tears. You can’t control simple emotions. It’s confusing.
– You’re physically hurting + healing – You just gave birth to a baby. Whether it was vaginally or cesarean. Your body, that created a human, gave birth to a freaking human. That hurts and everyone heals differently. Some quicker than others, some have horrible labors and pregnancy and other have easy. Some are able to heal quicker and get back to “normal” life and others it take time. We all physically have to heal. It’s hard.
– Your boobs hurt – Breastfeeding is a full time job. Between feeds and pumping its draining, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. If you weren’t able to or didn’t choose to breastfeed, your boobs take adjusting and pain as well. It all takes its toll on our bodies.
– Your body is different than it was before – You put on weight that you necessarily didn’t have before. Your body feels different, your tummy is squishy and uncomfortable. You’re out of maternity clothes, but not back into your normal clothes. You’re in between of who you were and who you are now. It takes adjusting and understanding that it’s temporary and it’s weird.
– It’s not just you anymore – You are responsible to care for a mini person. Something you might have experience with and something you might be completely clueless at. You may be flying at the seat of your pants, but you figure it out. Whether you have help or you’re doing it alone, it’s all something you’re learning. It’s new.
– Talk about it – It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. It can be dark and cloudy. Talk about it. Find your person you can talk to about it. Be able to express your feelings, happy or sad, mad or indifferent. Feel your feels!
⭐️ I hope that every mama out there reading this understands that’s it okay to not be okay. It’s okay to love being a mom some days and not other days. It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to not always know what you’re doing. I promise, you’ll figure it out and I hope you are able to have the love and support you need to feel better. Or just the comfort knowing you are doing a great job!
You’re strong and you are amazing mamas! Keep on keeping on!
Hugs and all the positive vibes to you from me, a new mom just trying to keep it together.
The beauty, love, happiness, and sadness these pictures make me feel all at once!
Watching you both grow before my eyes and becoming the beautiful girls you are. The overload of smiles your little sassy and sweet personalities bring. It simply melts my heart.
But do you both really have to grow? If only you girls could stay little forever! 🥺
At least little enough so I can still pick you both up and squeeze you.
Little enough, so I can kiss the mess out of those chunky cheeks.
Little enough, for your little hands to grab my finger to come pull me to play.
Little enough, to always want all the Mommy snuggies.
*big sigh* If only though.
Mommy can only wish, but do know…no matter how big you both may grow. You will always be my little girls. ❤️
Does your child deal with an Under, Over, or Low Processing Sensory Disorder? Have you heard of such a thing? Or maybe you have and quickly think…Autism! Well, while certain sensory processing difficulties can be seen in autistic children. It doesn’t quite mean they are on the autistic spectrum. “So why am I mentioning this?” Well, because I am a Mom of an Oral Sensory Under-Processing child…
…“Gah, it all makes SO MUCH sense now!!” These were my exact words after a long 6+ months of trying to understand my child.
The over-excessive licking, biting, and chewing on non-food things. The random blank stares. The introvert personality. The temper-tantrums. Burying herself underthings. So many foreign actions that seemed to progress more and more every day. That there were so many moments where it brought me back to her colic days and I found myself questioning once again. Why can’t I soothe my baby?! What is making her uncomfortable?! What am I doing wrong?!
For six months I’d been so lost and confused. Dealing with this by myself and feeling so overwhelmed, but little did I know. She was feeling just as overwhelmed! Dealing with a world that’s so over-sensory. Trying to manage and process everything that’s going on. Oh, My sweet baby girl! I am so sorry YOU had to deal with this for so long by yourself!
So what is Oral Sensory? Specifically Under Sensory Processing. It’s where a child continues to put things in their mouth after the age of two, commonly reported alongside sensory issues, autism, developmental delays, and learning disabilities. They might continue to chew or suck on non-food objects. They might suck or chew their sleeves or collar, or constantly have a toy or pencil in their mouth. In some cases, they may also eat non-food items. So children with developmental delays may continue to use their mouths to explore objects as an 18-month-old would. So, despite on paper being older, their brains are still processing information at a much younger age level. Where they are still working in the sensorimotor stage of development and this is why they still put things in their mouth.
When this all started, I used to brush certain things off. While also correcting Sofia. I mean, I knew little kids like to put things in their mouths so to me it was “typical 1 1/2 yr old behavior”, but then after a while, it started to become NOT NORMAL. A few months in and watching her munch, eat or chew on the most bizarre things as if she almost enjoyed it. It was SO WEIRD! And when she wasn’t chewing on something, she was licking something else or biting me. So I really started to question her actions. Questions then became frustration. Frustration then became tears. Deep down I knew something was off.
There were so many “questionable signs” that it just didn’t feel right and noticing how it affected her speech in minor ways, appetites, and the way she would react, because of overstimulation. I got more anxious to talk to her pediatrician and when that ‘talk’ happened, Mama finally had some answers. I never heard of Oral Sensory before though. So as I dug more into this ‘Sensory World’. I learned everything I could. I even listened to podcasts and connected with other Moms and as I paid more attention to Sofia, everything started to make sense! I finally understood my daughter! I was filled with mixed emotions of gratitude yet guilt. I felt horrible yet relieved, but now that I understand. I am now able to move forward and in just a few short days we’ll be meeting with a pediatric occupational therapist. Sofia will be seeing her twice a week, so we can help that extra stimulated mind/mouth of Hers!
So as this new normal takes place. I continue to learn and adapt. I begin to understand her triggers and what calms her. We have our good days and bad ones, but one thing I am grateful for. Is that I couldn’t have found this out at a better timing, because even though I’m dealing with the anxiety of Zoe being in K4. Her starting school allows me to focus on all things sensory one on one with Sofia. So it’s safe to say God knew what he was doing.
Now, does this make my daughter any different? Absolutely not! She is still as beautiful and smart as she can ever be. Lately, her vocabulary has gotten a little bigger and she finally tries to say “I love you.” 🥺 She is simply amazing and this is only a speed bump in her life that I am glad to nip in the butt at such an early age. As this is something she should hopefully grow out of with lots of prayers and the help of her OT.
So this is my mom life update to you.
From my Mama heart to yours 🤍
I’m sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A with the blogs, but thank you for tuning in and I hope to talk to you all soon!
⁃ Mama K.
Calming Techniques that Sofia loves:
• Being wrapped in a weighted blanket snuggled in Mama’s arms
• Crawling under a big stuffed animal
• Mounting tons of pillows over her. Honestly, anything that gives her some sort of snug compression seems to calm her soul and of course, keep mommy sane.
Because it’s national breastfeeding week…I felt encouraged to make this post.
As beautiful it is seeing all the pictures of all the beautiful Mamas breastfeeding their littles. It can be a big trigger for those who can’t or couldn’t. So I want to remind the Mamas that weren’t able to, such as myself, that if you’re not breastfeeding…YOU ARE STILL A GOOD MOM!!
This is a picture of myself attempting to breastfeed my second. (I’ll get back to that in a sec) When I was pregnant with my first, my body didn’t produce the milk needed to feed, and as much as I tried and tried. Nothing was happening and my daughter was declining in weight. I remember while pregnant though, I always told myself to prepare for anything that may not go the way I’d like it to. So personally I was okay. I didn’t beat myself up nor thought I was a “bad mom”, but there are mothers out there that may have felt that way or currently do. So I just want to tell you to shake those thoughts off, because Mama boob or bottle, You are still AMAZING!
Honestly, though, it’s so sad how people look down or make mothers feel bad if they aren’t able to breastfeed or may even just choose not to. I encountered such disgust firsthand with my first and let me tell you, “I’m the sweetest person you’ll ever meet,” but this lady I wanted to sucker punch right in the face! The dehumanization she made me feel as a FIRST TIME MOTHER, I was baffled! If it wasn’t for the second lactation specialist we’d seen and my daughters pediatrician reassuring me that IT IS OKAY. I probably would have mentally backtracked.
But anyways, back to my second. Although, I knew I couldn’t breastfeed. I still wanted to try again. It was a different pregnancy and a total opposite one from my first at that. So I said, “Why not try and see” and although once again nothing was there. I knew that my baby would be okay because as long as she was feeding, boob or not. She was still going to be healthy no matter what and HEY bottle feeding is a bonding experience too!
So for all my past, current, and any future bottle-feeding Mamas. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t feel guilty. You’re still AMAZING and always remember fed is best!
Just 𝗞𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘! Lol but no literally. What is more satisfying than enjoying some peace and quiet without wondering what your little ones are up to?! Because let’s be realistic we all know when it’s 𝗧𝗢𝗢 quiet, there is some sort of mischief going on.
So let’s think about this all the way through. How amazing would it be to enjoy a nice shower or that bubble bath you’ve been wanting to take without any interruptions? Or how about that one movie or tv show you’ve been wanting to see or binge watch that is 𝗡𝗢𝗧 kid related! Or just being able to sit and lay down without having to get up or hear 𝗠𝗢𝗠! 𝗠𝗢𝗠! every five minutes. Lol
When’s the last time you enjoyed an actual meal? You know, the meal that isn’t sharing with your little ones or picking at their leftovers? Or enjoying the simple pleasures of all the junk goodies without having to eat them in secret. How about that hot cup of coffee you’ve been wanting to enjoy? 𝘜𝘩𝘶𝘩𝘩 (elbow nudging)…am I hitting any common #momlife familiarities? Lol
Well let me help you out. If you’re overdue for some peace and quiet. The kind where you would like to just enjoy your own house/space in silence. Simply 𝗞𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗘 𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗨𝗧 right along with the 𝗛𝗨𝗦𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗗! (Lol love you babe) or if you’re a single mama, send the kiddos off for a few hours with a close and trusting family member or friend (don’t be afraid to ask), because trust me. I know it’s well deserved and probably long over due.
(P.s Dads. If roles are reversed and this is YOU. You are just as well deserving of this too!)
If you were to ask me what is one of my biggest struggles as a Mom of two. I would say right off the bat, “Balancing their quality time individually.”
For the moms and dads that have more than one kid, do you ever find this to be a struggle? Do you ever find yourself catering to one child more than the other? I do from time to time which then leads to that oh-so-fun thing, Mom guilt.
Zoe, my oldest, was my number one for two years and we did everything together. She was my adventure buddy, my shopping sidekick, all in all, my little personalized mini BFF. Then Sofia came along. As if adjusting to having two kids wasn’t enough. Let’s add her colic, which required SO much effort and attention that it really took away from Zoe.
Man, a colicky child and energetic 3 year old, then, that just wanted all of mommy’s attention and to be entertained all while being home bound through a pandemic. It was rough, but I always tried my best. So while stuck in the house my only way of individual quality time was during alternating nap times. Sound relatable?
Fast forward to now, a lot has changed. The girls are growing fast, they’re more energetic and require even more attention. Sofía, because of her colic is still so glued to Mommy and because she is my last, I do find myself wanting to embrace every clingy moment with her. More so, because it makes me realize how fast Zoe just grew. At the same time, I knew Zoe noticed the “extra given attention” because her slight change of behavior spoke loudly.
I know I’ve also had A LOT on my plate and because Zoe can be so independent. I tend to think she gots this. She’s okay, but is she? Then I think back on her love languages. As much as she is a girl of affirmations. She is also a little girl who requires just as much quality time and honestly every kid needs QT, but finding that balance between two or more can definitely be challenging. Especially too when there are so many other mom duties to tend to on top of everything. The balance struggle is real!
But meanwhile, even though now that I have two mini BFFs, I have started to learn just how important it is to make each of their quality time a priority. Especially Zoe’s. So whether that’s implementing set monthly Mommy/Zoe dates and/or doing more coloring/craft time while Sofia sleeps, because let’s be realistic too. My baby girl starts K4 in three months! The freedom we have now will soon be filled with new routines, changes, homework, and school activities. So I’d say the time to take advantage of all the QT time I can get…is NOW.
What are some ways you implement individual quality with your littles?
Man oh, man. I can’t even express all the emotions that consumed me when it hit that this is the year I would have to enroll my baby girl into K4 and 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 enrollment began, aye yai yai, I was everywhere.
And to think the thought of ever putting my girls in daycare was scary. Knowing that they, well at least Zoe right now, will be going to school definitely tops that. Then all that comes with researching and decision making on which school…The stress and fear I felt!
All the thoughts about the teachers and kids she will be surrounded by or will she even be in school or virtual? I literally had to pause, pray, and ask God to calm my soul. I know it’ll get better. Maybe 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 the first day of school or maybe never. Lol. I’ve been told one too many times I’ll be crying like a baby. Trust me, I already know and I am 𝗡𝗢𝗧 ready!
I can say though, I felt some peace and excitement when I got the email Zoe was eligible for an Art School I applied for. Which would be 𝗔𝗠𝗔𝗭𝗜𝗡𝗚! But Parents of school kids, I need to know I’m not alone. How did you feel about your first school enrollment? What were some thoughts/emotions you felt? How did you cope?
Mondays are for MomMe time. So what does that look like exactly? Well, it definitely looks and consists of many different things that simply make me feel like ME! So here’s a list of just some of my few fave MomMe Self Care Enjoyments.
‣︎ Blogging
‣︎ Working out
‣︎ Sleeping in. (Who doesn’t love some extra shut eye!)
‣︎ Binge-watching Lifetime. (Yes, I am that Mom lol)
‣︎ Diving into a book or devotional
‣︎ Getting a nice Mani/Pedi
‣︎ Shopping
‣︎ Indulging in my favorite sweets
‣︎ Having a fun Mom Date
‣︎ Rearranging and redecorating my house
‣︎ Or simply doing NOTHING! Mondays are literally my one day to not be Mom, to simply breathe, and take that well earned and deserved break. Having this day for me is what really helps my mental health and well being and truly allows me feel like I no longer live with Mom Identity Theft! Can you relate?!
I am taking this Mom Monday to give a special shout-out to one beautiful soon to be Mama!
Who just so happens to be none other than my [forever little sister.] ♥️
Honestly I still can’t believe it! You’re becoming a Mom! One of the most rewarding roles and titles you can have. You have entered a world that will forever change you and I cannot wait to see you grow within Motherhood.
I know it’s been a crazy ride thus far. A bit overwhelming, scary, and challenging. Trust me when I say that roller coaster is never ending. Yet, knowing the tough cookie that you are. I know that you absolutely got this! And even though we’re miles apart, always remember that my love and support still stands strong. I will always be here to lean on when moments get tough, when that little niece or nephew of mine is driving you loca, and when you just need to know that you are not alone.
And Justin you already know the same goes for you! I love you both and if I haven’t told you guys already. You two are going to be one amazing Mommy and Daddy. ♥️
It’s officially “Love” month and we are kicking our first Mom Monday back with The Five Love Languages. I’m sure you heard of them, right? Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving, and Acts of Services.
Well for those who know. If I were to ask you what is your love language? You might just have an idea of what it may be, but what if I asked you what is your child’s love language? Just like adults, every child has a primary love language, but how do you incorporate the 5 love languages in a way your child understands?
I’ve learned after closely watching my girls that my three-year old’s love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. For my one year old, currently, it’s Physical Touch and that could be because of her colicky stages as a baby, but she loves to give hugs, be held and snuggled. And not in that I’m spoiled kind of way, because as much as she is so independent. There is just this safety and comfort you can tell she feels when she is in Mommy’s arms.
As for Zoe, my three-year-old. She breathes on speaking life into herself and others. Many know I am big on affirmations and I know that plays big into that love language. So I make sure she gets all the good jobs, I love yous, you’re so silly, and you’re beautiful remarks, etc. when it’s needed. As for quality time. Sometimes it can get hard because I of course can’t spend every minute with her, but I’ve started to notice the specific signs of when she asks for “Mommy Snuggles” or “Play Time.” There is this tone of “Mommy I need you right now” and so I’ve learned that in those moments is when all the household chores can wait and my undivided attention is needed. ♥️
To the mom who hurt me more times than I can count. The mom who left me bruises I had to try and cover up. To the mom who abandoned me time after time. I’m here to tell you.
I forgive you.
To the mom who always left me to take care of my two younger siblings. To cook, to clean, get them ready for school, and help with homework.
Who also left me to take care of your mom, my 82 year old grandma. Whose diaper I changed and body I fed through a feeding tube, because five strokes left her disabled from head to toe.
I was only 14 years old. I was just a child myself, who was taken out of school and had to grow up faster than most. Your boyfriend at the time was more important than your kids. It was a lot to take in and deal with, but I forgive you.
Abuelita passed away. We lost our apartment. We had no money. We stayed with friends after friends to finally your boyfriends. Where one day you allowed him to throw me to the floor and put his hands on me.
He eventually kicked us out. We had no where to go. So then the journey into the unknown happened. You dragged my siblings and I around for a year and a half with no school or a place to call our own. We constantly slept in strangers houses or in our van bouncing around from Wisconsin to Florida to Pennsylvania to New York and then back to Wisconsin. Even family tried to help, but you wouldn’t accept it. It was all about you and what you wanted. Sadly, your kids were only a pawn in whatever card you played, but again, don’t worry.
I forgive you.
Fast forward x32. I’m five months pregnant! You’re a grandma! I know you heard the news, because you showed up unexpected. Yet your intentions on showing face was unclear. Not once did you ask how the baby or I was doing. Instead, you talked me down and tried to tell my fiancé that I’m delusional and a fraud. It was mind baffling and embarrassing.
Yet, I forgive you.
Hey mom, I got married! I’m now a mom of two! Your first grandchildren! They’re beautiful! Who knows if you’ll ever get to meet them. You’ve already missed out on so much! Did you know it’s actually been 13 years? Do I even call you mom? At this point I don’t know anything about you anymore. You’re practically a stranger. It’s heart breaking.
I know I will never get answers. For years I constantly asked myself, “why?” or “how can someone who calls themselves “mom” do such things. Don’t you love me?” I’ll never know. Maybe you went through a life of postpartum and the world was heavy on your shoulders. Maybe there was more to you and dad, a drug addict back then, that you just couldn’t take it anymore. So I became your punching bag.
I’ll never know where it all went wrong. As I look back at baby photos there seems to be this…love. I don’t know, but one thing I know is that five months ago, I was at my darkest moment within postpartum and I battled the fear of becoming You. There was an anger I felt that wanted to unleash. I had to continuously fight this mirror that kept reflecting YOU. It was a long and exhausting battle. I almost gave up. I almost let the darkness swallow me whole, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. It wasn’t my time.
So I sit here today writing this letter to you. That if there is anything that I could actually thank you for, it’s showing me what a mother SHOULD truly be. The mother my girls NEED me to be. The mother you WEREN’T to me. I’ve seen all the don’ts. I’ve seen all the failures and even though at times I may fail with my own. I know that I’ll be okay, because I remember, I’m not you. I am not my mother and because I now know who I finally am as Mom. I know I’ll do better.
So today and next week are definitely going to be heart felt and vulnerable, but I am so ready to share my stories with you all and be one chapter closer to ending this year!
As many of you know I am a stay at home mom and my husband runs his own business. Living that kind of lifestyle though, we faced MANY challenges this year, as many of you have too. From a pandemic that continuously put our account in the red, being months behind rent, behind on bills, trying to figure out how we were going to get by, and while almost everyone was getting unemployment and stimulus checks, we were still sitting on nothing. It was a hard pill to swallow to think of what could possibly happen. It was also my darkest months dealing with postpartum.
I remember feeling like I was drowning. Not just in my own mental torment, but in the overwhelming thoughts of how were we going to survive?! I had maxed out all my credit cards, I even opened new ones, and Eli would take any side job he could while working on his flip. Hustling, was an understatement. It was seriously a long, brutal, and dark time for us. Yet we tried to remain as faithful as can be and continued praying for God to make a way. EVEN when things looked completely hopeless, but let me tell you! When you stay faithful in the little things, you will be faithful in the big ones, because God showed up when we least expected and smacked us with the reminder that there is no challenge to big for Him! That when you trust on the Lord, He will take care of you and he did just that! We didn’t just make it through the year 2020. We conquered this year and I couldn’t be more grateful and blessed!
So I just want to remind those who may still be struggling. God has your back! Just put your faith in Him and watch those blessings unfold! Even when there seems to be no way, God will make a way and if there wasn’t any better season to start believing in miracles, it would be now! I promise you, there is bigger and better instore! ♡︎
Giving Moms a Voice. There are many Moms who have wanted to start their own blog, but never done so or have started one, but never shared. The common “why” behind it all is fear of judgment from others. Which trust me, I totally understand. So this platform is for Moms to share moments within their Motherhood, but anonymously! So go grab some coffee and have a look at some of these Mamas ‘Life Insights’! Enjoy ♡
Mother’s You Matter.
A mother’s love is so selfless. Naturally, you want nothing more than to give your babies your all. Sometimes though, you give so much that there’s little left for yourself. The moment I became a mother, I knew I would bend and move any mountain. I would block any ounce of pain I possibly could for my children, but with everything I gave, I found myself not having anything left for me. I’ve always been the type to do for others and put myself last. You’ve heard it before, “The kind of love a mother has for their child is something many cannot explain.” What you don’t hear much about, is that we must give love to ourselves too.
Once I became a mom, I stopped looking at myself, taking care of myself, and being myself. Why? Because it was engraved in my head that I was no longer important. I had responsibilities. I had others to dedicate my life to and although these things aren’t bad, they shouldn’t be the end to your womanhood/motherhood. There’s MORE. Just as much as we want for our children, we must want for ourselves. We want them to be healthy, well dang it, we must be healthy too. We want them to achieve goals, well we must have goals to achieve too. We want them to be mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally strong, then guess what? Mamas, we need that too.
I sometimes look at every Instagram mom and their perfect photos and family and I can only wonder how draining it is to keep up that facade. My house is a mess, the kids get dirty, sometimes chicken nuggets and french fries are on the menu and many times tantrums ruin our plans. I’m starting to accept that is okay though, because the more I accept that everything I do is for the best of my children. The more I feel happy that no one can do better for my children than me. Self-acceptance, but ultimately learning to love myself through motherhood is what I’m striving for this new year. So be gentle with yourself, and find out what loving yourself means to you, because remember you matter too.
-Mama V. 12.07.20
Army Mom Reunited.
My husband and I are a duel Military couple, him stationed in North Carolina and myself in Italy. While pregnant though I came to the states to have my son in November, 2019. When my maternity leave was over in January, I had to return to work in Italy immediately. My son stayed behind in the states for many personal and military reasons, but I was scheduled to leave Italy and return home to be stationed with my husband and son by April, 2020. In my mind I thought…“I can handle 2-3 months right? That can’t be too bad.” UNTIL the unwelcoming of Covid happened and impacted our work and personal life. The Army was not allowing any type of travel in or out of Italy during this time, therefore, I was obligated to stay longer than planned.
Fast forward 8 months later, I was finally able to hug and kiss my 10 month old baby. It was a mix of emotions for me. From a 3 month old baby who slept mostly all day to now working with a soon to be toddler. The battle of changing his diaper, crawling all over the place, eating actual baby food, and so many more different things he didn’t do before. It felt warming to be home with the excitement to finally be a mom again, but it also hurt to realize what a huge gap I missed on his life that I won’t be able to take back. It was challenging to accept the changes, his growth, and not being able to have grown with him.
From the first 3 months we had together. I knew everything about him. His schedule, his likes and dislikes, I knew how long his naps were. I knew his ways and I tended to them in my own mommy way. I had to show and teach my In-laws all those things before I left. Coming back, it was challenging, because now I had to learn their ways. How they did things and knew him inside and out better than me. It hurt to see that. I felt as if I didn’t even know my own son. I had to put my pride aside and ask questions that I felt I shouldn’t of had to ask. Things I felt I should’ve known already.
I know I’m not the only one going through this. I’m not the first and won’t be the last. It’s just tough when you’re there in the moment, frozen in time, and feel so isolated in that mental battle. There’s nothing I can do though, but move forward, accept things for what they are, and adapt to the changes of life. So I end with; cherish each moment and never take life with your kids for granted.
-Army Mom P. 11.02.20
Mom and Deployed
I’ve been in the military now for 10 years. During my first deployment in 2013, I did a tour in Afghanistan. It was an experience I’d never forget and I can admit it was the happiest and freest I’ve ever felt. Fast forward to 2019 where I find out I’m deploying again. My heart dropped. It hits differently this time, because now I’m a Mom. I instantly felt like someone was ripping me away from my baby.
I’ve already been a single mom the majority of my daughter’s life. So knowing I had to leave and for a year at that. I was worried she would feel abandoned or less important. I am all she knows. Its now been 154 days without her and I have the fear of her getting so used to me being gone, that she actually prefers her new life without me. I have the fear of being replaced or forgotten or something big will happen and I won’t be there to give her my unconditional love & support and she’ll hate me for it. I fear she’ll question her self-worth, because her momma left her. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about her even feeling that way.
Trying to also explain to a 3 yr old (at the time) that I’m leaving was a challenge. I explained it as “I made this commitment; therefore I have to keep my word.” Hoping that this life experience will teach her how important loyalty/duty can be. For the most part I think she understands. That mom is away because I have to and not because I want to. But there are days where my emotions take over and I get the constant fear that I made the wrong decision. That I’m a bad mom and that my child will grow up and resent me, because I left her. Those days are more often than not.
But then there are the days where I’ll FaceTime and she will take the iPad to the people around her and with pride she tells them, “I’m her mom & I’m in the Army.” Those are the days I try to hold on to, because I don’t regret my choice of being in the military. It has molded me into the person I am today. The Army has given me opportunities I did not think were ever possible for me and has given me a better life for my child. It’s a decision I made solely on my own. A service that is so much bigger than me and I’m proud to serve. I just really hope that in the end, I made the right decision.
-Army Mom F. 10.12.20
Career Mom to SAHM Pt. 2
Here I am, finally sitting on my bed able to take a deep breath in and out. Today was a good day, but as the evening hit I felt exhaustion start to kick in. Hubby takes our son to bed and I’m able to take a warm shower and pray. I’m able to let it out with God and He helps me to understand this second time around is different. I’m not only holding a growing baby inside me, but I am also taking care of an energetic preschooler. The thoughts then begin to race through my mind again, “I’m having a second child and things are already changing before she is here!”
I have worked since I was 15 years old and never thought being a SAHM was an option, but three months ago when I found out I’m expecting a second child, reality set in. I’ve been blessed to work from home for the past 5 years or so, but experiencing both working from home while also being a mom full time, THAT changed my perspective. The days where work has been so busy and I cannot pay my son the attention he wants, it leaves him no choice but to learn to be independent. The days where he wanted special attention and cried to be on top of me while I worked, the many times I had to go into the bathroom or my closet to cry it out, because of how overwhelmed I was. There were many moments where I didn’t think I would be able to make it through the day. ‘Mom Guilt’ started to set in many times even as I sit here and rethink those moments. So then the idea of becoming a Stay at Home Mom sets in my mind.
My husband and I have had more discussions than ever about the possibility of becoming one. I’ve always said my children and family will ALWAYS be my priority above all, because this is the greatest blessing God has given me. And the fact that I have not only my son, but now a new little human now depending on me, it changes my priorities and once again gives me a new clarity on what I truly want. I am seeing how God has given me a piece of my desire and want in life with my son and new child to be. So I no longer fear actually wanting to become a SAHM. And as I plan for the future, I make sure to seek guidance from God and always talk it through with my husband. One thing I know for sure is that I’m already seeing God aligning things for us and I will continue to trust Him in this process and new change.
-Mama M. 9.14.20
Career Mom to SAHM
Here I am, waking up at 6am, to start yet another day of what I would call somewhat misery. In about an hour, my son will be off to my in laws, to enjoy a fun day of whatever activities they have planned for him. But I sit here at my desk feeling miserable, because all I can think about it is being with my son. “Mom Guilt” starts to set in.
My whole adult life I have worked hard to build my career. I’ve accomplished goals that have allowed me to have a beautiful home and to have nice things for my family and me, but here I am, feeling unhappy. I start to think. Are all those hours I work and time I miss with my son worth it?
Through this current pandemic though, I’ve been able to work from home, and for the first two months my son stayed home with me. Every day it was hard juggling a 7 month old baby and being pulled into my demanding work life. It took patience and A LOT of coffee. But then after two months, he started going back to my in laws. I thought wow this is great. I’ll have quiet time and get some work done, but ever since that day I’ve regretted being a career woman. I realized how much I longed to be with my son. We had built this bond during those two months. A bond I don’t think we would’ve had if I continued to work in the office like normal.
But I was always that girl who said, “I could never be a Stay-At-Home Mom, because I would go stir crazy.” Now that I am a mother, I never thought I would have this amazing connection with my son and it’s bigger than the thought of me going stir crazy as a SAHM.
So here I am now pregnant again. The conversations with my husband have happened a lot about me being a stay at home mom. He’s supportive of it. So I’m like, “this is GREAT!”, but now there’s still that small part of me that has this guilt for myself. I’m giving up what I’ve worked for. I’m going to be vulnerable to a man and his earnings. No more independent me. This is a hard pill for me to swallow. Every day I think, “Am I making the right choice?” “Am I making a mistake?”
This is a huge leap. A life changing one! I’m only 28, but I’m starting to realize that this is life and this is what being a Mom is. Making sacrifices for the well being of your family. I’ve never had to make a decision like this, but I know I’ll be okay in the end. I have supportive family and friends. I love them all. I also have faith that God has a plan for my family and I know it will work out the way He sees fit.
So as I’m writing this today, I’m going to have faith and trust the process. As a working soon to be stay at home mom, this is all I can do. The guilt will come and go, but my life will still have a purpose to what God sees fit. If you are reading this today, I hope you are able to find comfort and courage in my words. If you’re struggling with the decision of Career Mom VS SAHM, know that you are strong and can get through it. Just have faith to trust the process.
“There is hope in knowing this about postpartum depression: You are not the only one to experience this confining, crazy making inner chaos within yourself.” – Judy Dippel
My PPD started shortly after I found out I was pregnant with my second. The feelings that fluttered through of how lonely I felt during and after my first pregnancy. Truthfully, It didn’t make me feel completely happy. See, I am married to a very hardworking and self-driven entrepreneur and if you are like me, you understand the time and dedication that title requires. So, a lot of the time when I need Hubby the most he can’t always be there. After a while, you start to feel like you’re not important enough, because in MY head work is his number one.
It’s frustrating. The amount of time his work takes from his family. Yet, despite how that makes me feel. I remain appreciative and supportive, because I know he is doing what he needs to do to provide for his family. It just really comes down to finding balance and prioritizing time, which is still a work in progress.
ANYWAYS.
Back to the loneliness. That will get you A LOT in so many different ways throughout Motherhood. And as a stay at home Mom, like myself it consumed my mind and entire being. I felt point blank lonely. Even though I had my daughter and we would always spend time together venturing out to places. I was lacking that experiential and emotional intimacy from my Husband. So when I found out I was pregnant with my second, I was honestly torn. Happy that my daughter would have a life-long playmate, but almost angry, because here we go, single Mama of two. Not literally, but you get it. That’s when my PPD began. A few months in when I started showing it was like bam! Yep I’m pregnant. Yep this is real. Not much has changed. Yep yada yada. You know how women get when they’re upset. Bullet points for days!
Fast forward to one month postpartum. Lord, My Mommyhood was tested big time! I met my match…COLIC. The endless months of trying to figure out this unknown territory of Babyhood. It completely broke me. I can’t count how many times I failed as a Mom. I truly felt like I didn’t know what in the world I was doing. Like I really didn’t. My first was so easy you guys. Like amazingly easy. I feel like God said “…you need to be challenged”, because that was exactly that! Into war with no direction, to be drowned alive in baby tears.
In those moments though of trying to figure it all out, catering continuously and tirelessly. Being so emotionally, physically, and mentally driven, to taking care of not one, but two little beings who need you, yet feeling so helpless at the same time. To then have questioning thoughts of “Am I really cut out for this?” “Am I even a good Mom?” Yea. That right there. That hits hard. Especially for me.
My childhood with my Mom wasn’t the greatest. When I was around 11, she became very abusive with me. Sadly, a lot of that stemmed from the toxic relationship my parents had, so I basically became my mother’s punching bag. At 14, my Mom would abandoned me and my two younger siblings quite often. Once divorced, her then boyfriend became more important and constantly put first before her kids. By the time I was 16, my Mom was pretty much non-existent. A lot more to that story, but bottom line I told myself, “I would never be like her when I become a mom.”
So having gone into that mindset of questioning my Motherhood. That became a constant battle of “No I am not my Mother!” “No I will not be like her!” “I could never leave my girls!” “I could never hurt them!” The list could go on! It resulted in me just feeling so angry and frustrated. Over a year and a half and still battling all of this. Feeling SO alone and overwhelmed. To then have someone, a mother herself, try and attack my motherhood. You guys, this is just how the devil works. Pure disgust!
The emotions that ate me alive. The feeling of despair. The loneliness. When I felt like I couldn’t do it. Like the entire world was on my shoulders. The complete numbness. As much as I absolutely love being a mom and the love I have for those two beautiful girls is endless. I had truly lost Krystle. I lost the positive, outgoing, and smiley person I was. I had lost all motivation of who I am. It was like I died inside. I can’t tell you how many ugly tears I have cried. The scary thoughts that consumed me, but all I know is that I survived. I’m still here and I am reclaiming my mind!
So let me tell you. If you are battling postpartum depression. Understand that you are NOT alone. Whatever YOUR triggers to PPD may be. Know that your feelings and the daily emotions you go through are VALID. Whatever negative thoughts you may feel. Remember that you absolutely got this and you ARE amazing no matter what!
I love you all so much! Mom or not, if you read this today thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’re amazing! Abrazos y Besos ♡
A lot of people perceive that being a Stay-at-Home Mom is easy. That what we do isn’t “real” work, so when we complain that we had a rough day; we’re looked at kinda crazy and not taken seriously. Truth is though, life as a stay at home mom is one heck of a roller coaster and quite challenging. Many people, including our significant other at times don’t realize the many hats we have to put on and how selfless you need to be to do what we do on a daily basis. So let’s cut right to the chase.
As a SAHM, we are NOT the moms people envision that just sit around all day sipping wine and watching soap operas. We are a round the clock Housemaid. We are ALWAYS CLEANING! It never ends! Trying to keep up with cleaning a messy home is a constant battle for me and it honestly becomes quite overwhelming. Between the dishes, the toys, the laundry, the messy bedrooms, the sweeping and mopping. It’s a struggle. There is so much to be done, but only so much one person can do. We are entertainers. Let me tell you, it is not always easy keeping a three and one year old entertained. Their attention span is so short! And God forbid if they do become entertained with something and I “try” to slip away…Oh the waterworks! Because let’s be realistic, having mommy sing-along and dance to baby shark is more important than anything else mom has to do, but anything to keep smiles on their faces! We are chefs, but not the Gordon Ramsey type. We’re the kind of chefs that make sure our little ones are well fed even if it’s making a peanut butter sandwich with goldfish for dinner, because it’s just been one of ‘those’ days.
We have other important hats, like being a teacher. We’re the person our little ones come to, to learn all things new. Since day one from teaching our baby how to roll over, crawl, walk, and talk to potty training and learning their ABC’S. There is also teaching mannerisms: how to listen, behave, be kind, the ‘dos’ and the ‘don’ts’. As nurturers we try our best to instill qualities of trust, patience, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. We’re a nurse. Mommy to the rescue when the ‘boo-boos’ happen! MAN, the list can go on and the patience required for all we do can only come from the Man Upstairs Himself. It’s a big responsibility we take on to become whole heartedly mentally, emotionally, and physically invested into our Child(ren) and our Home’s needs, because let’s be realistic. We DON’T get breaks. Maybe when the kids are napping (if you’re lucky enough to get them down for one), but even then you use that time to get things done. Sometimes you might even gate them in their playroom or living room with their toys and a movie just so you can sit in the kitchen or your bedroom for a quick break, but even then you feel guilty for doing such a thing as they cry to get out, because they just want Mommy.
I became a SAHM when Zoe was five months old. Which if I’m being honest. A stay at home mom of one was definitely a lot easier, but now as a mom of two and despite all that comes with being at home. I’d have to say I still do love it. Yes, it can become VERY overwhelming and you wish you could just clone yourself in three. That way one of you can give the kids the 100% undivided attention they need, the other can go wash and fold the twenty loads of laundry waiting to be done, and the third can just sleep. And trust me, I know, being a SAHM isn’t every Mom’s cup of tea and THAT IS OKAY! I’m sure 2020 has revealed that card a lot for some, but I truly am grateful to have the opportunity to be at home.
Being at home with my girls gave me the opportunity to watch them grow, soak in every milestone, understand and learn their love languages, their way of thinking and figuring out the most complex things. It’s been beautiful. And if you have read my Postpartum story, you could understand just how important it is for me to connect with my girls and build a memorable mommy-daughter relationship. Not ever having that with my own mom and being gifted with two beautiful girls. I knew God had given me a second chance of allowing me to know what a mother-daughter relationship is like.
But being a stay at home mom can also get very lonely. As much as I love spending time with my girls and trying to figure out their baby babbles. You long for that adult interaction and conversation to be able to talk about life and fun gossip. Instead of listening to Little Baby Bum or Cocomelon on repeat, you long to sit in the car with your favorite person and just jam out to your favorite songs. Or instead of watching Trolls World Tour a bazillion times back to back, you long to have a girls movie night and watch your favorite chick flicks. So yes loneliness definitely comes with the SAHM territory, but in a way you just get used to it.
Just like you get used to cleaning the house 100x times a day from all the food messes the kids make, all the abandoned toys that they play with for like 2 seconds, and the pile of clothes from the multiple wardrobe changes my three year old makes. You get used to the cries and tantrums behind the word ‘no’ when they don’t get their way. You get used to your hair looking all sorts of crazy and living in your sweats and jammies. You get used to forgetting to eat, not being able to shower, and basically putting everyone else’s needs first. You just get used to being this overworked exhausted Mom whose number one priority is to keep these little nuggets alive.
So yes, being a SAHM is a lot of work. It truly takes a lot of mental strength, patience, resilience, and a whole lot of coffee! There are good days and bad days. There are days where tears are shed and where ‘mom guilt’ sets in, because we feel like we’ve failed our little ones. There are days where we sit back and go, “Idk how I did it, but I did it!” as we’re finally getting a chance to breathe. And yes with all that we do it’s so easy to lose ourselves in the daily consuming mom life. Which is why I say You Are Mom And So Much More, because with all the hats that Mom life brings. It is so important to also wear the hat of Self-Care, which three years later as a Mom, a Wife, and being the glue that holds my family sanely together. I am relearning that myself. So a reminder to all my beautiful Mamas, remember that you got this. Even on those days where you feel like you don’t or feel like you’ve failed as a mom, remember that you are amazing, you are worthy, and in the eyes of your little ones, you are their perfect everything. So keep pressing through! ♡
I’m sure many of you have been counting the days until 2021 and now that December is finally here. We are that much closer to putting the year 2020 behind us. This has definitely been one crazy year to say the least, a pandemic to forever remember that had affected so many of us in different ways. So today I wanted to talk about how did Covid affect your little ones?
Although my girls are three and one and I have had the blessing to say I didn’t have to worry about schools shutting down and virtual classes. Covid still took a big impact on my three year old. The isolation and distance that took place in not seeing her favorite loved ones and friends, took an emotional toll on her and it was hard.
She was used to having play dates and seeing family throughout the week/weekends. That she eventually caught on to the unusual routine. Yes we had FaceTime, but that wasn’t enough. Zoe needed that physical quality time. To hug, play with, and talk to. So hearing her ask her grandpa (Belo), grandma (Bela), and Aunt (Titi Maria) every time over the phone, “Are you going to come with me Zoe?” and seeing her sad little face, because she couldn’t. SUCKED!
Fast forward a few months in. The joy and sparkle in her eyes when she could finally see her Belo, Bela, and Titi. She was ecstatic! BIG hugs. Check. Play time. Check. Overall quality time was great and fun as always…until it was time to say goodbye. The meltdown this girl had was none that I have ever seen. Her cries were as if someone was literally ripping her away from the ones she loved and was never going to see them again. At first I got upset. I didn’t get it. She never acted that way before. This was something new and I felt confused and frustrated trying to calm her down.
Then it happened again. Then again. Then on her birthday she had two friends come over at separate times and at each goodbye she freaked out. At this point I was like okay she never gets like this with her friends and that’s when it clicked. Separation Anxiety and at this point the goodbye cries turned into hyperventilation where throwing up followed. It literally killed me inside to see her that way. To know that she really thought and felt like she will never see them again and her telling ‘so&so’ don’t leave me! Yelling “NOOOO!” as she watches from the window. It was Pure Heartbreak!
Things have finally calmed as we are now months into this pandemic and overtime with breathing technics, allowing her to voice her feelings, and using calm words to comfort her has really helped her a lot. I continuously pray that her soul remains calm and she remains strong, because even though things have gotten back to some form of normalcy in our home and family routines. The future is still unknown, but one thing I know if the world were to shut down again. We’ll be more mentally and emotionally prepared.
Happy Mom M♡nday! This week is giveaway week, so we are taking it back to our very first Mom Monday post! What is ‘Mom Life’ like when you don’t have the kids?
I was asked this question four months ago and it hit me hard that I didn’t have an answer, because truthfully in 3 years of being Mom, I didn’t know. And I don’t mean the “kid-less” days where you go run the bazillion errands you need to do. What does a day for YOU look like to do the things that you want or love to do? Do you take that MomMe time needed for yourself? Do you still maintain passions you had before becoming a mom? Or do you feel like you’ve completely lost yourself in motherhood?
We as Moms get so consumed with our daily routine of making sure our kid(s) are so well taken care of, we do the things they always want to do, making sure we are nurturing their little beings, but what about nurturing ourselves?
Well, since I’ve started Mom Mondays. I have dedicated EVERY Monday specifically for MomMe time to invest in myself mentally and physically. As well as connecting with other moms and in doing so, I have found such a new peace and purpose within myself that is so renewing, refreshing, and exciting! More on that soon. I just want to hear from all of you again!
What are some things you like to do on MomMe Time? Or what are some goals you’re working towards on making time for YOU?
We made it! 16 hours complete and exhausted is an overstatement!! Now I know some of you are probably thinking you drove 16hrs with two kids? You’re crazy! 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟…yes and yes! Lol I actually prefer road tripping over flying unless it’s necessary to do so.
So the real question is, “how do you keep two little ones content and entertained during the drive?” Well to sum it up. Snacks. Snacks. 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 snacks and all the entertainment to keep them occupied!
So let’s first talk entertainment.
Well for starters, if you don’t have TVs in your vehicle. I definitely recommend getting an Amazon kids tablet! We had got Zoe one two years ago for our trip to Puerto Rico and it was such a 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥! You can install all your favorite streaming apps and download the kids favorite movies. That way they will have access to watch stuff on offline mode! We used Disney Plus and downloaded 12 different movies for the girls to choose from. Added bonus the tablet also has a few offline games to play too! For other entertainment goodies; We had coloring pads, crayons, stickers, books, a few favorite toys, and of course Disney Pandora to jam out too!
Next on the list for road trip survival. All the Snacks and Dranks! It’s a 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗧 to make sure our littles stay well nurtured during the drive, because trust me. You don’t want hungry crabby babies sitting behind you feeling, as they say… 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗥𝗬! So load up on all their favorite treats and don’t hold back! It’s better to be safe than sorry! Plus it’ll save money not having to buy happy meals and overpriced gas station food!
Lastly, make sure your littles are dressed comfy as possible! Its already restricting enough having to sit in a car seat for so long! So the less clothes…the less fussy. So take that coat or jacket off, kick off the shoes, and give the breathing room they need to stay sane and comfortable. Happy Babies = Happy Mommy! ♡︎
Happy Mom Monday! Let’s talk about this little babe right here. She’s adorable right? As are all of our littles UNTIL they start teething! So don’t let this little cute face fool you, because this past week she has been the crankiest little beaver ever!
If you don’t know, the teething stage of a child is not always the most lovable moment in motherhood. Especially when there are multiple teeth coming in at once. Which currently, Ms. Sofia has not just one or two, but all FOUR molars coming in! All at the same dang time. Sounds like a a sweet celebration right? For…no one. Lol
Its funny how motherhood works though. We adore all the milestones and little changes, like teeth coming in. We get so caught up in the ‘AWE’ moment, that we forget the consequences Mommy will have to pay for all that cuteness. Here’s just some of the fun things Mom has to deal with; Biting, Crankiness, Stage 4 Clinger, Sleepless Nights, and don’t forget those Sloppy Joe’s of a diaper! Yep! 💩
So between the irritable gnawing child and the zombie of a mother, sounds pretty fun right?! Haha All in all that’s just one of many stepping stones in motherhood and despite how exhausted mommy may be. She will always go above and beyond to make sure her little babe feels as comfortable as possible, because can you imagine the pain she’s in?!
So a few things that has helped; Young Living Oils, Lavender and Gentle Baby, frozen teethers, even her pacifiers, frozen yogurt, and her favorite baby flick, Cocomelon. Seriously that show is a LIFESAVER! 😆
So any other Mamas have fun teething stories to share?! I definitely would love to hear!
For all my Mom Peeps, Dad Peeps, and Non Parent Peeps, because this is for everybody.
It’s Mom M♡︎nday and I want to talk about how “It’s OK to not be OK.”
This hits hard, because I can’t tell you how many times I have found and still find myself time after time saying the words “I’m OK” even though I know I’m not. Can you relate?
Feeling hurt. “I’m OK.”
Feeling depressed. “I’m OK.”
Feeling let down. “I’m OK.”
Feeling anxiety. “I’m OK.”
Having a bad day. “I’m OK.”
We have normalized the idea that we can’t accept that not being OK, is OK. That we need to constantly be strong, that tears are weak, and that we’ll be judged for simply being human.
Well I’m here to tell you that it’s OK, to not be OK!
It’s OK to cry.
It’s OK to have an ‘off day’.
It’s OK to not feel yourself.
It’s OK to fail.
It’s OK to be HUMAN!
Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns and for me, mommyhood especially. You will have your days where you feel completely inadequate. You will have days where your responsibilities push you over the limit and that is OK!
It DOESN’T make you a bad person. It DOESN’T make you incapable. It DEFINITELY doesn’t make you a bad Mom or Dad.
So if you ever have a bad day. Remember that is perfectly OK in its most imperfect way. Don’t feel like you need to be so quick to be strong. Allow yourself to go through the emotions, because your feelings are VALID. Don’t hold them in. Don’t disguise them, because allowing yourself to feel is the most healthiest and realist thing you can do for YOU.
So if you need to, go have yourself your “Ugly Cry Moment” or your “Warrior Prayer Moment.” Then get back up, shake it all off, and continue to press forward.
Can we talk about how much I love being a Girl Mom! From their fashionable clothing to their sassy personalities and everything in between.
Being a girl mom of two is everything to me!
I just love shopping for them! Babygirl/Toddler clothing is just the cutest and I swear their wardrobe is bigger than mine. Every time I go to the store, I can’t help to see what’s new in the girls clothing depo. &&&& CACHING. It never fails. Sorry babe. Lol
Oh and the BOWS! As if this picture doesn’t give that away. Haha I can definitely tell you the bow collection has grown tremendously since Zoe was first born. Literally bows for days!
Their sassy and feisty attitudes are also among the cutest and funniest characteristics I love about them. The amount of different looks they give are hilarious, but I swear they’re the most lovable little beings that can instantly melt your heart. I live for their kisses and snuggle bonds with mommy and daddy.
But how completely opposite they are though from each other is what gets me. It’s so amazing to see how different the two are. At how such a young age they have already developed such a uniqueness of who they are individually.
Zoe is the award winning actress of the family (ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ. ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ) who is always dancing, singing, and yelling loudly in the house. Sofia, for how colicky she was as a baby. She is the most chill little one year old ever. She can be so unbothered at life and will give you the stank eye all day long. It’s great. Lol
Together though they are unstoppable. I love watching their bond and love for each other grow. The way they interact with each other and how much Sofia looks up to her big sister. I cannot wait to see the amazing women they will grow into. (ᴡʜᴏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ? ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴇꜰɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴡᴀɪᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ. 😭) but seriously being a girl mom is great and so much fun. For daddy on the other hand. Let’s be realistic. Being a girl dad terrifies him. lol
So what are you’re favorite things about being a #girlmom or #girldad? 💗
And for all my boy mom and dads. I’d love to hear your favorite things about having a boy too! 💙
But now here are six simple self-care tips that a stay at home or even working mom can do for themselves.
ⅰ. Take a shower at night. Mom life starts as soon as the kids are up at 7am or earlier and nonstop until bedtime. So make sure to take that time at night to take a nice hot bath or shower, breathe, and enjoy some quiet time!
ⅱ. Feed your body nutritious foods. We are always making sure the kids are eating, but what about you? And no, snacking on your kids left overs doesn’t count. And drink water!
ⅲ. Get some fresh air. Mom life is a constant go go go that sometimes we forget to breathe. So try and take 10 minutes of your day and sit outside or go for a walk. Fresh air really does a body good.
ⅳ. Get sleep when you can. I know this is a tough one, but if you get to that point of exhaustion where you feel like you can’t function. Forget about all the chores that needs to be done. A well rested body does a person better good than an bone-weary one.
ⅴ. Take that needed MomMe time. Self care is the practice of taking action to improve one’s own health. Which about sums up the first four things I just mentioned. And there is also things like reading a book, doing a 15minute workout, pampering yourself, or simply sitting in your car drinking Starbucks. Anything that allows you to feel like yourself, is a form of Self-Care.
ⅵ. And lastly. Be gentle to yourself. Mom life is overwhelming and exhausting, but always remember YOU got this! Start making your affirmations list and repeat them daily!
I am a big believer of this and not only for myself, but for my family. My three year old even recites her own set of affirmations.
But as moms, we tend to beat ourselves up a lot! Especially in those overwhelming #momlife moments where you may feel so hopeless. And for moms who have or are battling PPD/A I know those consuming thoughts and feelings can take you to a very dark place.
Which it’s why I stress for us Mamas to understand the importance of speaking life into ourselves, because our mind is a powerful tool. Affirmations truly give you the courage to believe in yourself, improve your overall well-being, and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love. So allowing yourself to speak life into YOU, is a step in the right direction of mental breakthrough.
Here are a few of my favorites.
• I am Worthy.
• I am Amazing.
• I am Capable.
• My Body is Healthy
• My Mind is Focused.
• My Soul is Calm.
• & I am a Great Mom!
Do you guys have any affirmations you tell yourself on the daily?
09.14.20
Gabrielle.
We have our 3rd MomMe Date down for the books!
Today I got to spend time with this beautiful soul. We got Sushi at Jin’s Sushi Seafood & Bar and did some ‘unnecessary’ shopping at T.J.Maxx. Lol
We had a great night of laughs and talks about our crazy pregnancy & labor stories. It was definitely a great time of mom-friendship bonding!
As I wake up this morning, I can’t help to just feel so overjoyed and grateful! When I started Mom Mondays: Reclaiming Your Identity. My soul purpose behind it was to push Moms to set aside time for themselves, because we as Moms can get so consumed in Motherhood that we forget how important it is to take care of ourselves. So when I created my first Mom Monday post about ‘MomIdentityTheft’, I honestly was taken back at the amount of feedback and support I got. Being able to see for yourself and have that reminder that you are not alone in this everyday #MomLife. It was heartwarming.
So yesterday being able to have my first Mom Monday Mama date out. My heart was so overjoyed! It was definitely a great way to close out the month of August! And I hope to continue to have more Mama dates with all the amazing Moms that I know out here within the Milwaukee Area. I don’t want to just sit behind a screen blogging away, because I want to have a more physical connection, because that is JUST AS if not MORE important than connecting with individuals online. So I am just beyond grateful with the amount of support I have received since Mom Monday started.
The dark hole I was in just two months ago telling my husband how “2020 has taken so many people I know. When is it my turn?!” The complete and utter exhaustion I felt. Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. I completely lost all sense of who I was. That it took one question from someone in a conversation to be my Saving Grace. And it was “Tell me. What is Mom Life like without the kids?” It was the most simplest question, but it hit so deep and hard inside, because I had no answer! I truly did not know how to answer that, because I didn’t know what that was really like.
The next day, after Listening to a Joel Osteen message on a Sunday Morning. It was like that sermon was meant for me in so many ways. After listening to Him, I went to jump in the shower and my mind was just in knots. Then that question my friend asked popped in my head and it was at that moment a fire lit under me. Talking to myself in the shower, “Like who the hell is Krystle?!” Tears rolling down my face, feeling so empty, but in the same moment my mind was as clear as day and Mom Mondays: Reclaiming Your Identity came about.
I had finally found my purpose. I had never felt so alive. This was my way in to help others, something I have always done, because that’s the person I have always been. A helper and a giver. So I can’t even explain how excited I am. How at peace I’ve been, but I’m so excited to continue this journey! I am truly grateful!
Blissful Burgos 