The ‘Hat’ Life of a SAHM

A lot of people perceive that being a Stay-at-Home Mom is easy. That what we do isn’t “real” work, so when we complain that we had a rough day; we’re looked at kinda crazy and not taken seriously. Truth is though, life as a stay at home mom is one heck of a roller coaster and quite challenging. Many people, including our significant other at times don’t realize the many hats we have to put on and how selfless you need to be to do what we do on a daily basis. So let’s cut right to the chase.

 As a SAHM, we are NOT the moms people envision that just sit around all day sipping wine and watching soap operas. We are a round the clock Housemaid. We are ALWAYS CLEANING! It never ends! Trying to keep up with cleaning a messy home is a constant battle for me and it honestly becomes quite overwhelming. Between the dishes, the toys, the laundry, the messy bedrooms, the sweeping and mopping. It’s a struggle. There is so much to be done, but only so much one person can do. We are entertainers. Let me tell you, it is not always easy keeping a three and one year old entertained. Their attention span is so short! And God forbid if they do become entertained with something and I “try” to slip away…Oh the waterworks! Because let’s be realistic, having mommy sing-along and dance to baby shark is more important than anything else mom has to do, but anything to keep smiles on their faces!  We are chefs, but not the Gordon Ramsey type. We’re the kind of chefs that make sure our little ones are well fed even if it’s making a peanut butter sandwich with goldfish for dinner, because it’s just been one of ‘those’ days.

We have other important hats, like being a teacher. We’re the person our little ones come to, to learn all things new. Since day one from teaching our baby how to roll over, crawl, walk, and talk to potty training and learning their ABC’S. There is also teaching mannerisms: how to listen, behave, be kind, the ‘dos’ and the ‘don’ts’. As nurturers we try our best to instill qualities of trust, patience, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. We’re a nurse. Mommy to the rescue when the ‘boo-boos’ happen! MAN, the list can go on and the patience required for all we do can only come from the Man Upstairs Himself. It’s a big responsibility we take on to become whole heartedly mentally, emotionally, and physically invested into our Child(ren) and our Home’s needs, because let’s be realistic. We DON’T get breaks. Maybe when the kids are napping (if you’re lucky enough to get them down for one), but even then you use that time to get things done. Sometimes you might even gate them in their playroom or living room with their toys and a movie just so you can sit in the kitchen or your bedroom for a quick break, but even then you feel guilty for doing such a thing as they cry to get out, because they just want Mommy.

I became a SAHM when Zoe was five months old. Which if I’m being honest. A stay at home mom of one was definitely a lot easier, but now as a mom of two and despite all that comes with being at home. I’d have to say I still do love it. Yes, it can become VERY overwhelming and you wish you could just clone yourself in three. That way one of you can give the kids the 100% undivided attention they need, the other can go wash and fold the twenty loads of laundry waiting to be done, and the third can just sleep. And trust me, I know, being a SAHM isn’t every Mom’s cup of tea and THAT IS OKAY! I’m sure 2020 has revealed that card a lot for some, but I truly am grateful to have the opportunity to be at home. 

Being at home with my girls gave me the opportunity to watch them grow, soak in every milestone, understand and learn their love languages, their way of thinking and figuring out the most complex things. It’s been beautiful. And if you have read my Postpartum story, you could understand just how important it is for me to connect with my girls and build a memorable mommy-daughter relationship. Not ever having that with my own mom and being gifted with two beautiful girls. I knew God had given me a second chance of allowing me to know what a mother-daughter relationship is like.

But being a stay at home mom can also get very lonely. As much as I love spending time with my girls and trying to figure out their baby babbles. You long for that adult interaction and conversation to be able to talk about life and fun gossip. Instead of listening to Little Baby Bum or Cocomelon on repeat, you long to sit in the car with your favorite person and just jam out to your favorite songs. Or instead of watching Trolls World Tour a bazillion times back to back, you long to have a girls movie night and watch your favorite chick flicks. So yes loneliness definitely comes with the SAHM territory, but in a way you just get used to it. 

Just like you get used to cleaning the house 100x times a day from all the food messes the kids make, all the abandoned toys that they play with for like 2 seconds, and the pile of clothes from the multiple wardrobe changes my three year old makes. You get used to the cries and tantrums behind the word ‘no’ when they don’t get their way. You get used to your hair looking all sorts of crazy and living in your sweats and jammies. You get used to forgetting to eat, not being able to shower, and basically putting everyone else’s needs first. You just get used to being this overworked exhausted Mom whose number one priority is to keep these little nuggets alive. 

So yes, being a SAHM is a lot of work. It truly takes a lot of mental strength, patience, resilience, and a whole lot of coffee! There are good days and bad days. There are days where tears are shed and where ‘mom guilt’ sets in, because we feel like we’ve failed our little ones. There are days where we sit back and go, “Idk how I did it, but I did it!” as we’re finally getting a chance to breathe. And yes with all that we do it’s so easy to lose ourselves in the daily consuming mom life. Which is why I say You Are Mom And So Much More, because with all the hats that Mom life brings. It is so important to also wear the hat of Self-Care, which three years later as a Mom, a Wife, and being the glue that holds my family sanely together. I am relearning that myself. So a reminder to all my beautiful Mamas, remember that you got this. Even on those days where you feel like you don’t or feel like you’ve failed as a mom, remember that you are amazing, you are worthy, and in the eyes of your little ones, you are their perfect everything. So keep pressing through! ♡